costume blunders.

Awwwwww, Halloween. 

I didn’t always love Halloween.  I blame it on my “costumes” growing up (no offense to my creative director/seamstress … my mom … bless her heart) AND that awful show they made us watch in school every year… Charlie Brown and the Great Pumpkin.   Biggest snoozeathon of a movie ever.

In elementary school, we would have a costume parade.  It was kind of a big deal.  All the parents were invited to the school to watch all the kids in costumes prance around the gym.   I dreaded this day each year.   Where to begin ….

2nd grade:  A Princess.  Costume consisted of a weird white dress that looked like a sheet/straight jacket and a giant poster board rolled up with a scarf tied to the end to look like one of those pointy princess hats … I think I was even wearing awkward white bulky dirty tennis shoes.  A princess with tennis shoes?   fail.

3rd grade:  A Fortune Teller.   As I walked through the parade everyone thought I was dressed as a school teacher.  I had on a shawl … and some clip on earrings … yep that made me a fortune teller. I even had on a little bit of blue eyeshadow.  Come on now, what kind of school teacher wears blue eyeshadow?   It’s never a good sign when you have to explain your costume to people

5th grade:  An Indian Princess.  Picture this.  A chubby white girl, with coke bottle glasses, wearing a tan smockthingamajig and a headband decorated with that puffy paint stuff.  Not cool.  To make matters worse, my best friend had decided that she too was going to be an Indian Princess … she showed up in an authentic leather princess indian dress and had feathers in her hair.  I had to walk right next to her in the parade.  She one upped me big time.  Whatever.   I’m over it.

6th grade:  A Pumpkin.   You know those giant orange garbage bags they sell around this time of year that look like pumpkins?  We cut a hole in the top for my head … then stuffed it with newspaper.   It sounded like I was wearing a diaper as I walked.   A big. fat. diaper.

Apparently Mitchell had a costume blunder as well.  How many boys can say that they have been a witch for Halloween?  I’m gonna go out on a limb and say, not many.



Phew.  That was painful to reopen all those wounds.

And maybe that is why I feel this need to  love Halloween so much now …. I have to make up for all those lost years.

Props to my family that put up with our Halloween dinner party this year.  There was only ONE rule.  You had to dress up.  No ifs, ands or buts.  There was only minimal moaning and groaning.  I’m so proud of my dad … he decided to be Gandalf all by himself.  




Mitchell’s costume.  Let’s be real.  Its just a mumbo jumbo hodge podge of weird stuff thrown together in 30 seconds. 

I personally think he looks like a creepy murderer that would have been featured on America’s Most Wanted in the 1980’s. 

Not quite what we were going for.



I found both mine and Mitchell’s wigs at saver’s for $3.00 a piece on the SAME day.  It was one of my happiest thrifting moments ever.

My seashells might be a little inappropriate.  I didn’t think they were until I saw the looks on my family’s faces when I debuted my costume.

I have shamed my family.  I guess next year I should be a Nun or something.

Uhhh …. sorry guys?