Is there some kind of secret meaning behind the title of this post? 

Absolutely not.  I’m pretty sure the creative part of my brain died after labor … so that’s what my brain came up with.  I hope I can resurrect my brain in the near future.

We officially have a one month old baby. 

Mind blowing.

We are super excited to see what the next month brings. 


She hasn’t quite caught on to the whole smile-for-the-camera thing yet …. but she sure is cute .. even when pulling weird faces.


Mitchell helped out a co-worker with some plumbing stuff in his rental condo … the last tenants left this lovely gem. Mitchell brought it home thinking that I would hate and we would use it as a white elephant. YEAH right. Jokes on you Mitchell.  I love owls. I love white ceramic stuff. Spray paint is amazing stuff. 

We don’t really have the ideal place for it …. yet


I picture it in some cool built in bookcase thing with a bunch of other random white ceramic animals/vases/coral etc …. like so


On another note ….  I thought I would share our favorite photo book company.  There are so many out there … Shutterfly, Snapfish, Blurb … but THIS one takes the cake in my opinion.   My Publisher is their name and making AWESOME books is their game.   I never really got into the whole scrapbooking scene … stickers, paper, glitter glue, etc … not really up my alley.   So My Publisher and I were meant to be.

I have been creating a book for each year we have been married.   We just received our third book (for our third year of marriage) in the mail yesterday.


You are able to completely customize the book… photo sizes, captions, fonts, colors … its pretty much awesome.  


This last book I created came to a grand total of $180 …. a bit steep, I know.  BUT if you get on My Publisher’s email list they will send you notifications about KILLER sales/deals.  I was able to knock down the $180 price tag to $80 including shipping.  Cha-ching.  Check it out.  You won’t be sorry.



nom nom nom nom.

Little Winter is three weeks old as of yesterday evening.  It has seriously been the fastest/slowest three weeks of my life … a blur I tell you, a weird surreal blur. 

oh this little face.  nom nom nom nom nom (me eating her up)


We spent the 4th of July with my family.  It was Winter’s first real outing.  I have never been so paranoid driving.  Every little move, every lane change, every turn made me nervous.  Guess that’s just part of being a new mom. 

First family photo


She no longer likes to be swaddled up in a burrito blanket … in fact, it really agitates her.   You wrap her up … and instantly she begins working her Houdini magic … complete with cute little caveman-like grunts.  And poof … like magic she escapes.

She is all about being stretched out as you can see …


Mitchell has been so good to take care of her when I need a break for a little bit … and Winter doesn’t mind one bit.


This is our night time set up … she won’t sleep in our room.  I guess we have bad chi or something in the bedroom.  So I have been sleeping out on the couch for the past three weeks.  Winter likes it better  … and Mitchell can have uninterrupted beauty sleep …. win win situation for now I guess.  


We took Winter to sacrament meeting a couple weeks back.  We decided to just stay out in the lobby, trying to distance ourselves from all the germs.   But even in the lobby we still had people coming and looking/touching/breathing on her.   I think we are going to wait till the beginning of August to take her again … considering all the crazy whooping cough stuff this year … once again … I’m a paranoid mom.

photo (9)edit


We celebrated Mitchell’s birthday with the classic coffee cake breakfast.  I think this is the first year that I didn’t totally ruin the coffee cake.  I used the “Pioneer Woman” coffee cake recipe http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2010/06/the-best-coffee-cake-ever/

just ignore the fact that it uses THREE sticks of butter … ignorance is bliss … 


Mirien invited us over for dinner the following Sunday and made Mitchell one awesome lemon curd-berry-pound-cake.  Winter is clearly a little annoyed that Mitchell was trying to steal the spotlight.


I have heard other people say that your capacity to love grows by leaps and bounds once you have children.  I really feel like I have had a Grinch like experience.  Not that my heart was small to being with, but it truly grew three sizes the day Winter was born … and it continues to grow each day. 



Night of the Living Dead

One week into parenthood and I feel like I walked right out of the movie “Night of the Living Dead.”  But this adorable little face makes waking up at night so much more pleasant.  I like to think of every night as a slumber party … for just Winter and I .. but without the popcorn or movies unfortunately. 

photo (2)

Being a parent is a ton of work.  But it is all totally worth it.  I’m kind of a zombie and I’m a bit overwhelmed at times but we are so happy to have Winter as a part of our family.  She honestly brings a different kind of spirit into our home.  

Mitchell and I probably say, “Winter is so cute”  20 billion times a day.  She really is SOOOO cute.   Her cheeks make me so incredibly happy.

   I love singing primary songs to her in the middle of the night and cry almost every time I do it.  I swear tear ducts triple in size when you become a mother. 

People have their definite opinions about who Winter looks like.  I just think she looks like a baby.   I’m sure when she gets a little older her characteristics will pop and I might have an actual opinion on this matter.

  We have had quite a few adventures involving explosive poop.  Poop on my clothes.  Poop on her clothes.  Poop on the carpet.  Poop on my phone.  Its everywhere.  Dang that poop.

Breastfeeding has not come easy.  Everyone makes it seem so easy and natural.  Pu-lease. Winter and I still haven’t gotten the hang of it YET (I’m not throwing in the towel) … so I have been pumping like a mad woman trying to make sure she is getting enough to eat.  Cows and I have now have more in common than I would like to admit. 

Mitchell and I attempted to take some semi decent photos of Winter the other day.  I salute all baby photographers.  It is tough work.  I have no idea how they get babies to do some of the crazy insane poses that I sometimes see.  So ours are pretty simple as you can see ….





Poor little Winter had to have her Bilirubin number tested … not only once, but twice this week.  But we are glad to say that her results were low, so Jaundice is no longer a major concern.


Nothing is cuter than a sleeping baby.  Nothing.


Mitchell and I have tested out several different swaddling methods … and this one that Ashley (Fillmore) showed us through Face Time is the best one.  Thanks Ashley, we owe you one.   I am wishing that I would have practiced more origami or had worked at Taco Bell wrapping burritos …those skills would have come in very handy right about now.


I’m relieved that she doesn’t absolutely hate bath time.

photo (8)


Oh Baby.


Once upon a time, there was a girl who met a boy.  They fell in love, got married and had a baby named Winter Anna Fillmore.  Born Thursday June 28th at 5:53 pm.   She weighed 8 lbs 8 oz and is 19.5” long.  And they all lived happily ever after.  The End.

That was the cliff notes version of what happened.  If you don’t want all the little details of the event feel free to stop reading here … scroll to the bottom and enjoy the pictures of our darling little baby.


The Nitty Gritty Birth Story: Unabridged Version

We started preparing for this baby months ago.  We began our hypnobirthing classes back in March and I had been practicing almost every day up until the actual birth.  We were really excited to be able to experience natural birth in a relaxed atmosphere.

We had visited the Doctor last Monday and left under the impression that we would NOT be having a baby that week.  My cervix was not dilated …not even a tiny bit.  Nor was I experiencing any kind of contractions … in fact, I don’t really think I ever experienced any kind of Braxton Hicks contractions through out the entire pregnancy.   We were kinda disappointed to hear, yet again, that we wouldn’t be seeing a baby this week.   I was determined to do everything I could to get my body progressing.  I went to the gym each morning and walked for hour and did some stretching exercises on an exercise ball.  Mitchell and I would also go out in the evenings and walk for another hour.  I even upped my hypnobirthing practice sessions to an hour each day.  

Wednesday evening came along, Mitchell and I were watching a show and I felt a nice warm trickle down my leg … I went to the bathroom to investigate further and BAM … that trickle turned into a lovely waterfall.  I created a very nice little pond on the bathroom floor.  SOOOOO glad this little event didn’t happen at a store, church or the gym.  Mitchell called Labor and Delivery while I hopped into the shower.  We began getting all our things together and I continued to gush and leak and make a rather large mess.

We got to the hospital around 8:00 pm and they got us a room rather quickly.  I began listening to my hypnobirthing scripts and CDs.  I was feeling pretty good, until they checked my cervix and told us that I wasn’t dilated at ALL.  What the heck.  How do you have a river with Class III rapids coming down your leg and not be dilated?  So we waited it out for the rest of the signs up birth to catch up (dilation, effacement, contractions, babies…).  Midnight came  … no contractions … no dilation of any kind.  

Once your water breaks at this stage in pregnancy, you are kinda doomed … you have to have the baby 24 hours after that time to avoid risks of infection.  So the Doctor was concerned that I was going to need a c-section if my body didn’t progress.  So they offered me a pill that helps soften the cervix and help things move along.  We took a double dose and hoped for the best.  They did another wonderful cervical check four hours later at 4:00 am .. and I was dilated to a stinking ONE.  So they had me take another round of pills.  They checked me at 8:00 am … and I was dilated to “one and a wiggle.” 

What the heck is a wiggle? 

Obviously not good.  So things were looking bleak.  Time was running out for my body to cooperate.  So the ugly pitocin was introduced, with a slow drip set to increase the dose each hour.  I knew natural birth was ‘possible’ with Pitocin but I could just see my hypnobirth plans floating out the window.   I quickly went from very minimal cramping  to very strong, consistent, excruciating violent contractions.    My body and brain had no time to prepare.  I was totally overwhelmed.    Around noon I was frustrated and exhausted physically, emotionally and mentally … tears may have been involved.  At noon, a nurse tried to check my cervix.  She was and is THEE WORST at checking cervixes I have ever experienced and probably ever will experience.  I swear she was elbow deep.  I honestly wanted to punch her. And some how she had the nerve after about 5 min of poking and prodding and finding new leverage points and angles to tell me she couldn’t find my cervix.  I’m no anatomy expert, but there aren’t a lot of places it could be, and it was just there a minute ago. 

So the plan was to check again in 2 hours and see if my cervix would magically be easier to find.  In the meantime things intensified and the contractions were no longer bearable.  I had lost all the cushiony amniotic fluid and I was having drug enhanced contractions try to squeeze a baby through a hole that didn’t want to open.  I was exhausted from the 16+ hour ordeal thus far and the 30+ hours with essentially no sleep.  I opted for the epidural.  The anesthesiologist came minutes later with his gear and all the little things he said would sting felt like a butterfly kiss compared to the contractions I was having at that time.  The epidural went smoothly and I could finally relax.  The doctor came by and recommended I get some sleep now while I could so I would have the strength to push when the time came.  So at about 1 I fell asleep and my prince charming left to get something to eat and to shower. 

At 3 they wanted to check my progress again, and… 4.5!  My body had finally done something worth mentioning.  The nurse came in again a few times in the next couple hours asking how I was feeling and if I was feeling pressure lower (a sign the baby moved all the way down and I was fully dilated).  But I wasn’t feeling anything like that so they didn’t do another cervical check.  Then 5:30 rolls along and the doctor comes in to check on me and decides its time to check the cervix.  She looks up at me and says, “are you ready to push?”  She got all the necessary people and gear and gave a few instructions to me and to Mitchell.  First push, baby head was in view.  Eased her back and forth for a few pushes and head was out.  Doctor moved the cord around her neck and found a hand was trying to sneak its way out and with two more pushes I had a cute happy baby on my chest.  It was only 15 min or so of pushing, easiest part of the day. 

I thought I would be crying after labor while holding Winter … there was crying … but it wasn’t done by Winter nor I.  I loved watching Mitchell look at Winter with tears rolling down his face.  I honestly fell in love with Mitchell all over again in that moment.   I think I was in shock during that moment, that this beautiful little girl was finally here. 

Yes, we are slightly sleep deprived.  Yes, breastfeeding is frustrating.  Yes, I still look 5 months pregnant.  But we absolutely adore her and wouldn’t change a thing.





_DSC6014velvetbwphoto (3)edit