survival of the fittest


We survived week one.

I always feel like that is a huge milestone.  The newborn phase is one that I struggle with.  YES I love my babies.  YES I am super grateful to have him.  But let’s face it – adjusting to a newborn’s schedule (or lack of schedule) is hard. 

We had a doctor appointment today and this boy gained weight like a boss.  He was 6 lbs 13 oz when he was born … after one week he is now *drum roll*  … a whopping 7 lbs 5 oz.  I’m crazy ecstatic.  Breastfeeding has been stressful for me considering it just never panned out with Winter.  I ended up pumping for 9 months with her and so this breastfeeding experience is new to me.  Stressing about whether or not he is getting enough … whether or not he is eating too often … whether or not I am drinking enough water and eating enough food … whether or not he has a good latch etc etc ETC.  Yes I’m crazy.  So to hear that he is doing well makes me one happy mama.

Winter is adjusting slowly.  We have been trying to give her oodles and oodles of love and attention so she doesn’t feel threatened by this new arrival.  She is more stubborn, shy, moody and seeks attention.  But boy does she love Forest.   She loves to give him kisses and look at his little hands.  These kids (still trying to get used to saying KIDS in the plural form … WEIRD) make my heart about explode.

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oh boy.



Forest Lowe Fillmore

born Saturday October 4th

4:15 pm

6 lbs 13 oz   -   19 inches long


Here are the dirty details for those of you who like that sort of thing. 

Friday Night:   I had some contractions that woke me up and kept me awake … but nothing that I really deemed exciting or promising.

Saturday Morning:   We took an early morning walk to Smiths to get some bagels/donuts for breakfast; trying to make some progress in the contraction department …  contractions were nonexistent.  BOOOOO.

10:00 am – 1:30 pm We watched the morning session of general conference and then decided to order a pizza … because pizza is goooooood and Dominos had a deal.   Winter insisted that we eat our pizza at a park so off we went to Sugarhouse Park.  We ate pizza (highly recommend banana peppers as a topping guys – you won’t be sorry) and then I took a walk around the park.  Contractions began and were coming every 7 mins or so (thank goodness for cool phone apps that can keep track of those) but I could still walk through them easily. 

2:00 pm started watching conference, all the while still tracking my contractions

2:30 pm  the contractions were stronger and about every 6-7 mins and lasting 45 seconds and I wasn’t super able to concentrate on any of the speakers.  I still didn’t really see the need for alarm and thought we had plenty of time considering I was in labor for 23 hours with Winter. 

3:00 pm  I had to get on my hands and knees to make it through a contraction (that lower back pain is a beast). At this point I was STILL in denial that I was in active labor – I just thought I was a wuss or something.   I climbed into the shower to help relieve some of my back pain while Mitchell called our midwife.  She was 45 mins away and said she was on her way.  During the shower the contractions hit HARD.  I had to get on my hands and knees, gripping the tub and sounding like a wounded animal … hot water speeds things up I guess.  Oopsies.  I told Mitchell there was no way I could make it 45 more mins.   He called the midwife back and she told us to head over to the birthing center and gave me specific instructions:  DO NOT PUSH.  She then called a midwife student who was closer to meet us there.  At this point I was dying.  I threw on a shirt, a pair of underwear (not garments, for those who might be mortified at this point) and some flip flops ( let’s be honest, pants were not my top priority.) Mitchell helped me out the door and down the stairs.  I made it to the car and was crawling into the passenger seat when another contraction stopped me dead in my tracks.

Mitchell had also called his sister earlier to come and watch Winter, who was napping at the time.   His sister pulled up as I was hanging halfway out the passenger side door trying to make it through a contraction.   At this point I was 98.6% sure that I was going to have the baby right then and there. To say I was panicking would be an understatement.  I wanted to crawl out of the car, onto the grass and have Mitchell check whether or not he could see anything going on … down there.   Thank goodness for Mitchell.  He got Winter up from her nap and down to his sister’s car and then shoved the rest of me into our car.  He remained totally calm during this whole fiasco.    Then off to the birth center with Mitchell’s sister following behind just in case we ended up having a roadside birth.   The whole ride I just kept repeating this over and over while hyperventilating:  “DON’T PUSH, please Heavenly Father don’t let me have a baby in the car, DON’T PUSH.”   The simple “don’t push” request sounds easy but it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to resist.   We got to the birth center just as a midwife student was there opening the door.  We “walked” in (if you can call what I was doing walking) and started to make it up the stairs to the birthing room.  I collapsed at the bottom of the stairs as another contraction began … as it subsided we booked up the stairs.  I stood by the bed hunched over as another contraction hit and thankfully the rest of the midwife crew arrived literally 1 minute after we did.  They laid out a “drop cloth” under me.  I remember telling them, “It feels like I have to poop REALLY bad.  I’m so sorry if I poop on you.”  They reassured me it wouldn’t be the first time that happened if it did.   Another contraction hit and BAM that baby came out while I was standing there beside the bed.  I felt an awful lot like those giraffes you see giving birth on National Geographic.  I didn’t even have to push thanks to glorious gravity.  The midwife handed him to me from between my legs.   It was crazy surreal.   We had arrived at the center at 4:10 pm and the baby arrived at 4:15 pm. 

Mitchell’s sister (Mirien), Winter and her cousin Hayley were all downstairs while this happened.  They heard the baby cry and Mirien said: “Winter, that’s your little brother” and Winter said, “No, that’s a cat.”  HA.  They all came upstairs, Winter checked him out and was over it all pretty fast.  She wanted to play with toys.  Babies are sooooo boring.   Winter went home with Mirien for a fun cousin sleepover and had a ton of fun (We owe Mirien a bajillion for coming to our rescue.)

We relaxed at the center for a few hours … they made us dinner and then we packed up and went home around 8 pm.  I absolutely LOVED not having to sleep in a stupid hospital bed or having to tolerate hospital food.   Three cheers for birthing centers!

lessons learned, truths reaffirmed and thoughts: 

- it is actually quite liberating to walk out your front door in your underwear

- i can do hard things

- Mitchell is and will always be my hero.  

- the Lord answers prayers and provides miracles … soooooo many miracles that day

-  the recovery from natural labor is about 100 billion times better

- I saw my placenta for the first time and I about barfed as I thought about the people who make placenta lasagna or placenta smoothies.  They did ask if we wanted to keep it … and we politely declined.

- boy plumbing is much different than girl plumbing (holy hannah peeeeeee shooter)

-  I HATE the fact that Winter seems so big and old now.  I have shed a couple tears over this.

- We are happy, incredibly grateful, healthy and TIRED.